Things That 2011 Gave Me

Lets not even kid ourselves- this year was horribly good, because everyone felt the same way and we're all praying that the new year will be much, much better. I know I'm hoping that!

Things That 2011 Gave Me:

1. I fell in love for the first time. And out.

2. I got my first boyfriend ever.

3. I got my first grade lower than an A.

4. I got my first real grounding.

5. I learned to appreciate who I am.

6. I became more fun.

7. I learned real responsibility.

8. I gained new friends.

9. I went home to London<3

10. I learned to love my family no matter what.

11. I got a hot boyfriend...

12. I learned to actually dance.

13. I made new friends and rekindled friendships.

14. I went to my first party.

15. I got my first real break up. :(

I'm praying that 2012 will be one of the greatest years ever. I need this. I need a pick me up. Some help, I need to be saved from myself. I want to have more adventures, to have more fun without it being bad. I'm hoping to change myself and do a complete 180. Haha, I really do.

-xoxo Reid<3

New Years Resolutions!

Time To Get Ready For 2012.

It's that time of year- the ending of a year! Bring on 2012, bitches! So, I'm preparing like everybody else, by deciding on my resolutions. It's time to start a new, for real this year. Every year I make a resolution and I always fail to meet them. I just have to stop making such big goals. Remember that, people! Never make such big goals, make little ones that will lead to big ones. Don't set a time limit on dreams- it never works. Always have a plan.

My New Year's Resolutions:

1. To Take a whole new 180 in a new derection.

2. To be better about helping my mom out.

3. To work on grades a lot harder.

4. To stop going out so much.

5. To work on my social problems.

6. To stop blaming "lucky" problems for things that go wrong.

7. To no longer let my past make me bitter.

8. To eat better and work out way more.

9. To take better care of myself and put me first.

10. To do a bit more for others but able to say No when I want.

11. To learn the gutair and how to dance a bit better.

12. Work harder on reaching my modeling dream.

13. To not spend so much money this year.

14. To raise enough money to get my own plane ticket to Hawaii. ;)

15. To be better about sticking to promises, better yet, not make any.

&More to come, I'm sure.

-xoxo Reid<3



Bittersweet Love

I'll be honest- I'm a total complete asshole whenever I want to be, but that's only if you're a complete total asshole to me. I feel as if my past has formed my present. I won't lie, I'm still a bit sensitive, but not to the point of being a complete total psycho. I used to want a boyfriend so badly, but now I realize I don't need one to make me feel complete, in fact- I found that guys want me even more when I'm not wanting them. I mean that in a non-cocky way. I don't try to be a whore and wear practically nothing to get a guy to like me.

Anyway, so what I'm saying is- people who have treated me poorly have taught me that you shouldn't be such a bitter person, but don't be so trusting or too kind and don't move fast. I'm nice, I mean, I just bought someone Jason Aldean concert tickets, but I'm smart enough to know that I won't be a total pushover and let them hurt me. They even confessed today that they're an asshole(I think they just joke). I can appreciate that, because I understand how it feels to be complete hurt in your past. I let a boy rip me to shreds, then I begged for him back. Now, I want nothing to do with him and I totally don't miss him at all. He means nothing to me, almost. I mean, there is still a special place in my heart for him, but I'd be willing to get rid of it for someone else. Also, my best friends and friends mean more to me than any guy. I would dump Nick Jonas if I couldn't have my best friends and him.

Then again, I do remember that it's important to marry and/or date your best friend. I even know that, but I don't expect to marry my high school sweetheart- then again, you never know. But I'm positive I won't. I could be wrong, but I don't plan on it- I have so many dreams to fufill and I need someone who can handle my baggage and dreams. They have to love me no matter what happens. Love is something that is never destroyed, by even the smallest of things. I swear, I think no one can just fall out of love. That's just dumb. How can you just forget feelings like that? I only forget feelings if someone just treats me so horribly, that I can't take it anymore.

Lesson of the Day- Life is Too Short To Date Assholes. <3

-xoxo Reid.

Dead Fashion, Pajamas At School, and How To Look Hot

Okay, let's begin with the fact that my fashion sense has been dying. Haven't you noticed? Yeah, what's up with that? Well, here's the reason- lately, I've been so overly stressed from school that waking up at 5 just to get ready is super duper hard! Trust me. I can't even explain the tiredness in my life. So, also, starting on Jan 1st. My fashion sense is changing! I'm going back to being exotic and wild with my clothes. Plus, I have enough money to start buying my clothes too. Plus, in the month of December, I can never buy new clothes because my mom already has gifs for me. Haha, I love my mom more than anything in the entire world! So, anyway, my dead fashion is about to come to an end- Infact, I might even dress up today before going out to go shopping!

Now, let's talk about pajamas at school. Okay, come on, girls! What are you doing? Pajamas are pajamas for a reason! They're meant to be slept in! I feel weird going to school in sweatpants, imagine flanal pants with freaking Bugs Bunny on them! You make yourself look beyond stupid! I mean, I hear girls talk about how guys they like never notice them, but honey no boy wants to date a girl who wears Tweety Bird pajama pants to school with mismatched tops. If you're going to wear flanal pants to school- at least make it look good. 

Girls who wear too many animal prints together, need to understand that fifty different animal prints are not suppose to go together!! Learn it, love it, live it. Okay? Boys who wear baggy pants are not sexy, but too tight pants are not sexy either. Loose but not baggy and skinny but not tight- those are sexy. Boys who wear shirts that are not too big, but not too tight are also sexy. Girls with big boobs need to realize that you can flaunt off what your mama gave you WITHOUT being a total slut. Don't wear low cut shirts unless it's only showing a little cleavage- not the whole shabang! If you want to wear a tight shirt, get some Spandex, because big boobs don't look attractive in tight shirts. Loose but not too lose shirts look super good on girls with large breasts is super cute!

Sooner or later, I'll start just a blog about Fashion. I might even give a girl a makeover if they'd like it. :)

-xoxo, Reid<3



Studying For Exams.

I Hate Studying.

Then again, who doesn't? It sucks. So here I am, studying chemistry and I'm pretty sure that I know NOTHING and I won't get it by tomorrow at 9:15. No way in hell. I feel like trying to understand Chemistry, which used to be my favorite subject, is like trying to shoot a gun with no bullet in it. Why do we even have exams? They seem pointless, like it's not going to help us in any way.

So, also, I've learned that if I don't get get a good grade on the exams for Geometry and Chemistry- I'm screwed. I don't even know what to do or even think, because 1. I want to go to a really good school and if I fail, there go my chances. 2. I do my homework, I just suck at it. and 3. I get help, but I still can't seem to comprehend it! I wish I could understand it a lot better. I really do.

What do I do? Am I going to fail? I have nooo clue....

Life Isn't Suppose To Be Easy.

The Only Answer Is Suicide...

That, my dears, is a lie. Some people actually can't handle it, but for those who think life just isn't worth it anymore, like...School work is hard, work is hard, my friend's are mean to me, blah blah blah. I'll tell you, honey pie, life isn't that bad, you just gotta stick through it. All that bad shit- please, that's just part of life. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

For example, when a girl gets dumped, they are convinced they are going to die of a broken heart- you do, but not literally, just the person you were before. You live to love and love to live or you totally lose the game of life. Life really isn't that bad, I mean, think of all the girls and boys in Africa who live without clean water or electricity or anything. It's terrible, but it's true. Seriously, think about it- the next time your water or drink tastes like shit, the poor kids in Africa have never had clean water, maybe once or twice. Many African children die from river water everyday. Sad, yes.

If Life were easy, think about how boring it would be? Right!? I mean, if it were easy, then we'd always get what we want, we wouldn't have to work for anything, adventures wouldn't be around and it so wouldn't be worth it. Think of all the adventures you have to get what you want! You have so many, it's amazing. I love it and appreciate it. I really do. Someday, though, I wanna make kids dreams come true. And I will.

But it's a journey I have to take- not an easy one, but a journey.

But next time you're struggling, take a deep breath and realize how lucky you are...

                                                                       xoxo~Reid<3



So Much For Starting Over Fresh.

Now, I'm not going to lie- I've never been good at keeping to my word, but for the first time ever- I really thought I was going to be a different person and be the person I wanted to be. The one who could do whatever she wanted.

I don't know why I haven't been able too...Is it because I'm just so stressed from school and trying to manage a social life.

I've been a terrible about relationships...and my best friend. I've been picking fights with my best friend and my boyfriend has been picking fights(even though he's sure I'm the one picking the fights.)

Ohhhhhh sigh. On top of that, he's convinced I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend. I haven't seen my ex in a long time. I lost him about mid July, he just disappeared and in his place is this freaky loser who dumped me for his cousin. Not a loss at all, but I do terribly miss the boy who used to be there....I'm sure he'll never come back...or back to me. But that's all right. Life is much too short to date assholes.

Anyway, I think I'm really going to keep to my promises from now on.

From now on I will:

1. I will admit when I'm wrong.

2. No longer let a boy control my life.

3. Be who I am.

4. Love who I am.

5. Really become a new.

6. Treat my friends fairly.

7. Quit being so bad about loyalty.

8. Speak the truth when neccessary.

and that's all I can come up with- oh wait.

9. KEEP BEING AWESOME.

ahem, there we go.

:}<3

"I'm not weird. You just don't like seeing someone who isn't like you."

-xoxo Reid<3



To Want or Not To Want.

The Need, The Want, The Have.

Have you ever wanted something so bad you would do anything to have it? Yeah, I've been there too... It's terrible. You go crazy for it and in the end- you lose it. I used to always say that I won't take no for an answer and it always ends up being a no in the end.

A couple months ago, I lost the first boy I ever loved because I wanted to keep him so badly. I worked TOO hard for him, but then again, he didn't work hard enough for me- or himself. It's tough, because I feel awful for going crazy over him. At the same time, it's so dorky that I did, but you'd have to be in this position.

What do you do when want you something so badly and you're determined to get it? I have no clue. Do you? I would give anything to know how to get them. I think that everyone should give someone a chance- unless it breaks the "bro" or "friend" code. Ex. Has an STD, Fucked Your Friend, Cheated On Your Friend, Etc.

Well, If you know what to do, please...call me.

-xoxo Reid<3

The Boy Who Cried Crazy

Where's My Side Of The Story?

So most have heard Trever's side of the story, so I think it's turn for my side of the story and you can pick which one you believe.

So, for my side, let me begin with, oh say- A week ago? So, Trever started texting me again,(I called him gay, so nice right?) and finally decided to walk over to my house. I wasn't into him like that because I had just gotten out of a bad relationship and wasn't looking for one right now. Anway, he showed up and was all, "Will you be my date for homecoming? Are we talking?" and I said yes to both. I mean, Hey, someone actually likes me and that comes once in a blue moon. I was happy about it at first, but then things started to get worse- He would text me nonstop and get mad if I didn't reply and whined when I never replied to me. He even liked to pick fights about everything. He can't take a joke for anything and got mad if I fake hit him. He would even get upset about mentioning guys I've dated- but it was okay for him to mention every girl he's ever fucked. He also always..ALWAYS wanted to hang out- but I can't always hang out. I was starting to get sick of him, but I still gave him a chance. Then, at the homecoming game...things got weird. I offered to take him but he said he wasn't going.. Next thing I know, he's at the game. I was hurt because A. I've had guys do this to me and B. I was tired of being played. So, I tried talking to him, but he was being a baby about it. When we finally started talking about it, he told me that people were calling me weird and he shouldn't date me. Why should he listen to them? It's dumb. Then, I found out he was bad mouthing me in his world history class to the other sophomores, saying he was going to ditch me. That pissed me off. I yelled at him. You can't bullshit me, because I'm the bullshitter. Of course, I did have a tight grip on him, but it couldn't have been that bad. He was acting like a child and not having a grown up face to face talk about it, until he eventually gave up and shoved me back. That was his way of dumping me. Yes, he did ask me out multiply times and for the first time that night- I said yes. I will never be with him again, because that was just wrong. You don't just push someone over. I shouldn't have put my hands on him but he shouldn't have pushed me. Karma will get him soon, I don't know when and I don't know how. But the way he treated me was wrong.
He also lies about never asking me out. He did. I remember.
You can pick, I don't care, but this is my side of the story.

He Threw Me Away Like Everyone Else. That's Why I'm So Desparate To Keep People.

Protege Moi

"Protect Me."

-xoxo Reid. </3

Finally Travelling The World!

The World Is Your Playground.

So, next summer I'll be traveling to flipping Paris and London and I can hardly contain myself. OH, not to mention, I'm also going to China- and to both places where my darling nieces were born. I think it's a must to travel the world, no matter what. There's so much to do and so little time and all I want to do is travel the world and live like it's the last day of my life. Before I go out into the real world of working, even though I want to be a comedian now and actress, and get a flipping job- I just wanna rome around the world and discover new things and swim in the oceans of clear, beautiful, and saintlike water in Hawaii to dancing in Bollywood, India. I just need too, it's a dream of mine. I just want to be rich and travel and change the world. Whilest helping my dear boy end world hunger. I want to go to Africa and help give electricity and clean water to the children there and love them and hug them and just be adored by the children. In India, I want to dance and learn the culture of beautiful India and just be apart of them. In Italy, I want to eat all the Italian food I can, learn the language,

The world is so beautiful and we all take advantage of it and the glory of it all. It's time to change that and I want to give people the world and give the world the people. We all just are so selfish anymore- even I am!- and it's time to change that. I hope to have a job to travel the world, maybe even be a T.V. show host. How cute, right? Yes, I would definitaley be the perfect person for comedy and the hottest Bollywood dancer.<3

Please, look at the things you have and smile widely and proudly.

Everything's amazing, but nobody is happy.

~Reid,xoxo<3

I'm Gonna Follow My Dream.

If You Can Dream It, You Can Do It.

So, lately I've been saying, "YEAH, I'M GONNA FOLLOW MY GOALS FOR ONCE!" then totally slack off on it. I'm terrible about keeping to my goals, but this time, I'm for sure following my goals. I so know I can do it!

First, I'm going to finally force my mother to get my portfolio done and get it ready to send out the picture to modelling companies, so I can follow my dream finally. I'm going to enter all kinds of contests and find as many friends who are with the modeling business to help me out.

From then on, I'm going to wing it. I'm going to work my butt off for this because this is my dream and you gotta work for the things you love. Having a positive attitude will help me, but according to Mrs.Moore- I'm a negative person. I'll show her.

I'm also working on being funny, because I know I for sure suck at being funny. It's really pathetic, I know, right?!?! It's crazy. I promise to work on that.

If you have a dream, you need to follow it, because you only get to live one life for all we know. Why not make this a life worth living for? Forget the people who hurt you and shoot for the stars!

-xoxoReid.<3



Having A Fear Of Commitment.

"You're Only Holding Yourself Back."

Do you have a fear of being in a relationship? Because you were left far to much? Well, you're not alone, because I have that fear now, thanks to my last boyfriend. He made a promise and totally broke it and my heart into itty bitty pieces. Although he still has the key to my heart and my heart, I'm afraid to actually ever trust him again- if he ever stops being such a ninny, depressed asshole. There's a slim chance for that, honestly. Nothing has ever held me back before, but he def is holding me back from ever being in love again.

There's been several boys who have been wanting my heart more than anything, but I just don't have the heart for them. I feel so guilty going on dates, "talking" to other boys, flirting with other boys. It's silly yes, but it proves how in love with this boy I am. It's hard to get over him and it always will be.

I am struggling to trust another guy, but I just can't. Can you? I'm sorry if you do, it's terrible, but I totally understand. Do you feel like you're leading guys on? I do, def, because I am leading them on by being in love with someone else and it's terrible.

Until you can get over the guy you're in love with, don't get involved with other guys, but if you can't, you'll just have to live with it. It sucks, but it's true. Love like it's your last day.

Not Just Another Pretty Face.

I am beautiful, you're just jealous.

So, I've been called ugly, weird, and a loser. Whatever, I don't care, because they just can't handle that I'm different. Clearly I'm above them. I would rather be called a loser than look like everyone else. If you ever notice, all girls look the same- it's ridiculous. I mean, having good personal hygiene would be nice, but having the same hairstyle and face sucks massively.

I wish that girls who hate themselves, could look in the mirror and realize how beautiful they are. It's such a shame to see girls kill themselves to be skinny and to be afraid of being ugly and work so hard to be beautiful when they're really killing themselves.

Love who you are, because you're beautiful and wonderful. I hope everyone can remember that.

-xoxoReid<3



A Beach Would Be Nice

Another Day Alone, Another Day With Overthinking.

It's another day, with more thinking, unfortunately. Knowing me, I love to just sit there and think and think and think on days where I have nothing to do- like Sunday. Today, I've decided.... I'm ready for vacation. I have less than a month before going to Orlando. Again. This time I'm going to Universal Studios for the first time ever and I'm super duper excited about it, but where I really want to go is to Maui, Hawaii. It's so beautiful there- well, from what I've seen. I feel like in Maui, I'll be able to forget everything and let the water soak up all my worries, as if they never happened and when I return- everything will be amazing and wonderful.

 I just want to forget all my pain, get the love of my life back, and smile so much my cheeks get wrinkles. I've heard that beaches have the power to just steal away the pain and demolish them. I have 16 years of pain I need destroyed and happiness to take it's place. Plus, a beach is warm and the water is warm and soaks up everything and there are amazing secrets under its surface, just waiting to be discovered. It's going on my bucket list of things to do before I die and I hope I get the chance to complete everything on my bucket list. I will, for sure, this time.

  Do you have somewhere you'd give anything to be at? A place where you wish would just take all problems away and demolish them? Well, there is a place- everywhere. You don't always to go on vacation to get rid of the pain, just venture off into the great wilderness, know as none other than your own backyard. Try it. I dare ya.

-xoxo, Reid<3



The Castle Around My Heart

"The Castle Around My Heart."

   Have you ever been so in love that when your heart was ripped into tiny pieces, it hurt so bad that you swore you could never be in love ever again? Yeah, that's happened to me. I'm sticking to it too. I've made the security around my heart a lot better, because the last boy to break- no- demolish my heart has ruined me. I can't take another brutal beating like I have before. Don't let anyone hurt you, the only one who will ever love you for who you are is yourself. The castle around your heart is probably extremely beautiful and attracts many and many will try to break into your castle for the remains of your heart- don't let them.

   They'll just leave you in the rain, screaming your heart out, begging them to just stay and give you a chance and pretty faces should never have to cry let alone- beg. Make them beg for you. Lock all doors around your heart let no one in, but friends..Friend's are forever and you should love them almost as much as you love you love yourself.

    Love really does matter in life and it teaches you many lessons. One, trust no one with your heart. Two, you still need to love- just not another person. & Three, you're amazing no matter what. People can only hurt you if you let them, so don't let them hurt you or you're going to be in loads of trouble. I will forever love him, because he does still own my heart and I'm awaiting the return of my heart.

         I would love my heart back, but at the same time- I don't.



Falling Out Of Love And Into Sophomore Year

-Phone Vibrates- "Reid we should break up" That is NOT how you dump a girl. I've always been one to be dumped over the phone. I feel for all those other girls who have been in my situation. Boys should never EVER treat you wrong, but they can only treat you wrong if you let them. I learned that lesson the hard way. I've been battling scarlet fever, mono, and the hives and my ex didn't once come see me in the hospital. Shoulda said no when I had the chance right? It's been two hours..Wipe my tears and move on. Why?

Because I'm In Love With Being Alive.

There is just way to much to deal with- Being awesome AND becoming a sophomore. I will get my license next month. I'll be able to get more involved with people and create a social life. I don't have time to be sad. I need to spend my time making smiles. :)

I'm excited to be able to go out and do stuff and I have a chance to make everything better and maybe this year.. I'll find someone whos perfect for me<3
And I hope all those lonely hearts out there do too<3

                                                        -Reid. :)<3